Living With Cancer

BY LENNY HIRSCH

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer 7 years ago. I remember that fateful Wednesday evening when my urologist told me that I had cancer. Since then I have passed through many stages. Firstly was the stage of denial, there must have been a mistake in the analysis, re-do the biopsy, get a second opinion on the results. The next stage was the self-pity, why me? I do not deserve cancer, I could not survive being incontinent, what about my potency? There is so much I still want to do and I am going to die! I even thought about how I wanted my body disposed of. My children live all over the world and I wanted to be buried at sea so that whenever my off spring entered the ocean they would think of me.

Fortunately or unfortunately men suffering from prostate cancer have a number of choices of treatment to choose from. The specialist in each field will try and sell you his specialty, but the final decision is yours. Having to make such a life-changing choice is very hard. This will not be a rehearsal, but a one-time appearance. Decision time was a terrible stage, to this day I do not know whether I made the correct decision or not. However, up to this stage I was in the hands of experts and specialists. Afterwards I was on my own. Waiting for the results of quarterly blood checks which would indicate the possible return of the cancer was unnerving. In my case the cancer did return and once again I was faced with choosing a treatment. This merry go round is what I call living with cancer.

I see a difference in fighting cancer and living with it. Experts are readily available in the fight. A tremendous amount of information is available from books, the Internet and support groups for the various procedures and protocols in the technical dealings with the disease

Living with the cancer means being able to come to terms with the possible re- occurrence of the cancer, not going into a state of tension while waiting for the results of tests. Men with advanced prostate cancer have to find ways of coping with the often-horrendous side effects of hormone or chemotherapy, when one loses his libido, suffers fatigue, depression and so on. You are on your own except for the support and understanding of your loved ones. There are many, like me, who live by themselves and have no shoulder to lean on. I am lucky that my work with my support group and work as a volunteer with the Israeli Cancer Association carried me through those dark days after my wife and I separated. One of the reasons for the separation was the return of the cancer after surgery that was supposed to rid me of the cancer.

There are some outstanding books on living with cancer. My belief is that one has to find for himself ways of living with the sword of Damocles over one’s head.

My way is living for the present, finding pleasure in what I do and enjoying the beauty that is there for the looking. I appreciate the simple things that I never noticed before. The excitement of my dog when he sees me, a cloud formation, flowers, the laugh of children at play, a cool breeze after a long hot sweaty day.

A positive mindset is one of the most important weapons that we have in learning to live with cancer.

Lenny Hirsch

Northern Israel
September 2003

© Lenny Hirsch

Israel has two support groups for prostate cancer so far,
one in Tel Aviv and the other, which Lenny organized, the Haifa support group:
You Are Not Alone (YANA).
Meetings 6 PM, last Thursday of every month, companions invited
Meetings in Hebrew and in English if required.
Israeli Cancer Association, Bldg. 5, Haifa
Contact: Lenny Hirsch

Phone: Tel Aviv: 0528300467
Haifa and the north 0544570595
[email protected]

A list of support groups world wide is at
PSA Rising Support links

PSA Rising
prostate cancer activist news
http://www.psa-rising.com
PO Box 1114 IN 47933
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